How many times do I have to try?

Sometimes I wish that,
I could actually follow through,
That I could actually do it,
Actually,
For once,
Do it,
Instead of just,
Trying,
And opening my eyes,
To some sad excuse,

Instead of having water,
Swishing inside my lungs,
Instead of having the blood,
Dried to my clothes,
To the floor,
Instead of having my throat,
Sore,
From all the vomiting,
Open my eyes,
To some being,
Greater then I.

Instead of hiding everything,
Show everyone,
Tell everyone,
And then,
Say goodbye,
For the last time,
For good,

Praying For Death

We all wait anxiously,
We all wait alone,
We get lost in our own darkness,
Watching those happier then us,
we never see the positive,
And we never are ourselves,
And so we go on
We live our lives as someone else,

Then it's over.
We end it.
Hoping it will make us happy.
But in reality...
After we end it,
We know we have to confront Him.

As we sit by him, He'll look at us and say,
"Your life, it wasn't right,
But hell, you tried, with all your might,
...sorry son, I gotta say, you need some time,
to think of your crimes,
and i know...  I should have said yes, when you prayed for your death,
But I hoped you would want your breath,
Now it's over, and after I heard you curse,
I knew I made it worse."

And then we sit,
Contemplating what we've done
And we will see the tears in his eyes
Because we took our own, God damn lives.

A Poem From Prison

This is the poem I wrote to piss hell out of my english teacher, Randall, Fuck you, and Fuck Robert Frost too


You want me to write a poem?
A poem like Robert Frost?
You want me to write a poem?
A poem about nature?
Well go to hell,
Nature is for photographers,
Poems need emotion,
Poems need passion
Not rules,
Not a grade,
Not a God Damn box!
It needs to be free.
So tell me how to write a poem.
Tell me one more God damn time,
To write like Robert-Fucking-Frost.
I'd rather write a poem fom prison,
Then write a poem
like a,
Textbook,
Anal,
Basterd,
Poetry needs to be free.
You feel it, you write it.
So you can fail me.
You can kick me out,
But as long as i write how i want,
As long as my poetry,
Is my poetry,
And not someone elses.
I'll be able to smile
I'll be able to sleep at night.
So fuck Robet Frost.
Fuck every man that writes acording to rules,
Instead of feelings.
Poetry is emotions,
Not rules,
Not Rhymes,
Not words.