New blogs are comin' soon.

I never said I was strong

With feathers in my mouth i breathed you in.
The whales swam below us
and when their backs touched the water,
                                                              I ran.

For the promises I broke like trees.

The ink on this page is fading.
Though our souls are still bleeding.
These words won't last.

You don't know if you believe in god.
I don't know if I believe in words.

Montauk

Snow turns to rain, everyone
is laughing and dancing.

There is still dirt under my fingernails
from burying her.

You pulled me out onto the ice
and when I broke through,
you ran away.
did i do the same?

The fog stings my eyes.
The smoke burns in my lungs.
I'm smashing these records,
I am tearing the pages out of my books.
Later,
I'll crash my mothers car.
I will Burn my fathers house.

We are all going to hell,
so whats the bother anyway?

For A

 

You hold on to every guy you touch,
like he is the only thing protecting you from the fires of hell surrounding you;
but the fires are on the inside.
Take a look at your soul.
It’s burning;

almost as fast as mine.

something about loneliness

Stop!
You have the wrong man.
I'm no good,
let's face it.
I'm lousy.
I'm a lousy poet.
I'm a lousy writer.
I'm a lousy reader.
I'm no good at speaking, or talking, or listening.
I'm a lousy musician.
I can't sing, I can't play.
I'm a lousy dancer.
I'm a lousy runner.
I'm a lousy hiker.
I'm a lousy biker.
I'm a lousy aritist.
I'm a lousy teacher.
I'm a lousy person.

I'm a lousy lover.

I have nothing going for me.
I'm no good at anything.
except being alone.
I'm a magnificent artist
when loneliness is my canvas.
Maybe it's my openess for it
or my acceptance towards it,
maybe it's simply because
I can go anywhere, and do anything
alone.
I don't know why i'm so profound.
But I do know
that when i hear my loneliness
when I see my loneliness
when I truly FEEL my lonliness
I almost feel happier.

Sing, read, drink, smoke, dance, fish, hike.
whatever you can think of, I can do,
alone.
I never said i'd be happy
no.
Happiness is not the pack i have learned to carry over the years
I don't want to use words like sad, or depressed, or hateful, or unhappy, or bitter, or blue, or somber, heavy-hearted, grieved remorseful, sorrowful, melancoly, gloomy, diseased, broken, low, down, hurt, feeble, or heartsick
but how can I not?
When it's what i've grown to be.
How can i tell you how I feel?
What am i supposed to say?
"I won't make it till tomorow?"

You say my poetry is depressing.
My poetry is MY SOUL on a page.
It's my SOUL in words, in letters.
I'm a sick, sick man.
My mind has been poisoned with this disease.
It's all i can think of.
It's all i have in my heart.
Suicide is in my head.
Anger is all i feel in my hands.

My heart has grown heavy.
It grows sicker every day
It's shriveled.
It's whitering away.
It's growing weak;
like that of my will to live.

beets

I was like a beet, freshly pulled from the ground.
and She was the one who pulled me,
She cleaned me, She introduced me to life.
to the sun.
and then she cut me,
and boiled me in soup,
without saying a word.